1. Kelly Slater, 11 time world champion
Dude, you’re middle-aged. This is getting to be embarrassing.
2. Joel Parkinson
Is he this guy:
or this guy?
3. Jordy Smith
Apparently a chick magnet: goes to what how a measure of fame and fortune and a Saffra accent can do, cause it ain’t exactly his movie star looks.
4. Mick Fanning
I’ve heard Mick Fanning on TV. He has a voice full of gravitas. I think deep inside is the real Mick, struggling to emerge: a government spokesman.
5. Matt Wilkinson:
The hair apparent.
Also, the ASP is introducing mandatory random drug testing, with sufficient lead time announcement to allow surfers “to make appropriate changes to their lifestyle.” Earth to Wilko, Earth to Wilko, did you copy that?