To the expat motorcyclist in a rush who called me a “f**king moron”

Young lad,

It might do us well to reflect on the old saying, “There are old pilots and there are bold pilots but there are no old, bold pilots.”

I’ve been driving in Bali from way back when most people rode bicycles to get around. I used to be a speed demon, but the older I get the slower I go. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I want to live to a ripe old age. So when a car pulls across the road to merge into my lane, I will slow way down and allow it to do so.

As for you, I’m not sure what happened. I wasn’t even aware you were there behind me until I parked across the street in front of the store. You pulled over on your big bike and shouted at me, something I missed and then something I quite clearly got: “you f**king moron.” Then off you roared.

Were you in a hurry to get somewhere? Did you nearly run up my backside? I am so sorry that I a) impeded your swift progress or b) gave you a scare or c) both of them or d) something else based on a general dyspeptic personality or perhaps this morning you got out of the wrong side of bed and swung onto the wrong side of the motorbike.

It’s been often commented that put Indonesians on a motorbike or behind the wheel, and they forget their gracious courtesy and turn into selfish maniacs, every-person-for-him-or-herself. Young girls on scooters are the worst. (I think this is universal phenomenon). But one thing I’ve noticed here is that while the traffic is mayhem and madness, and every driver tries to get the edge and shoot the gap, the locals have no road rage. They don’t froth and curse at each other.

So really son, you’re in Bali. Leave the road rage at home.

road rage crossed

The old guy on the scooter.

(image courtesy

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9 Responses to To the expat motorcyclist in a rush who called me a “f**king moron”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Yer I’ve noticed that too. The Indos are the craziest drivers – sometimes plain insane in what they do. They use horns all the time – but the road rage I’ve noticed in my 12 years plus living here is about 1 percent of what I have seen in Australia.

  2. Glen says:

    Ah yes he was likely from Western Australia (brainless bogan) and was abusing you because
    1. He wouldn’t know how to ride (no under the age of 40 has any idea here…none, nada, zip SFA)
    2. Wouldn’t know how the “system” worked (any where never mind Bali)
    3. Well because he is just a bogan (its a genetic thing)

    Sorry about that but they breeding like flies and you are bound to get some turn up in Bali.

  3. Bukit Bear says:

    Things happen slowly in Bali… with one exception. The current growth rate of disrespectful idiots who continue to flood this island… bringing only ignorance, self-entitlement and shameful manners.

  4. IndoMe says:

    As an Indo (halfy at least) who lives abroad (UK), I’ve noticed things have been getting worse and worse in these last few years, even amongst the younger locals.

    The holidaymakers are still the worst, but it feels like their behaviour and mindset is beginning to set in.

  5. Davo says:

    I love my horn and honk every time im about to overtake or to alert those are about to pull out in front of you (without first looking as usual) I think using the horn here is a sign of courtesy to towards these other road users so you do not startle them when you overtake , and the horn honk alerts those who pull out in front of you (without looking) hug close to left side of the road …., There are so are those road user in a dream who dreamily veer into you path …, they also get a friendly and courteous beep-beep 🙂

  6. Paul firkin says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more on slowing down, leaving the ‘road rage’ at home & not learning to ride a motor bike/scooter in Bali. In addition, anidst the apparent chaos on Bali roads, there is a passive element whereby locals and experienced expats will hold back & allow those who insist on getting the upper hand or jump in the queue ‘a fair go’. Confident but passive, purposeful but sensible – seems to be the mantras which make the Bali traffic chaos manageable. However, throw in a tourists ego & te chaos become turmoil & potentially disasterous. NEVER forget you are a visitor to Bali, be respectful to the local people & their traditions and simply let ‘be’ with a smile.

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