‘Twas the Surfer’s Night Before Christmas

Merry Christmas and Selamat Hari Raya Natal!


Twas the night before Christmas and in the jungle surf camp
All was quiet and dark except for the porch lamp
The surf had been tiny and cold Bintangs were gone
We were all outta here at the first light of dawn.

The groms were restless under the net
Santa wasn’t coming and they were upset
The Mrs. and I tried to stay cool in the heat
In a sweat-soaked stupor as we lay atop of the sheet

When from the sea came such a commotion
I feared a tsunami roaring in from the ocean
Jumping from bed I peered out at the night
At the long beach glowing in the moonlight

And what to my wondering eyes did I see
But eight stalwart SUPers towing a jetski
On which rode a man all muscle and fair
Was this St. Nick with sun-golden hair?

He bellowed and cheered and called each SUPer by name
As their paddles flashed and onward they came
“Now Slater, now Garrett, now Parko and John-John,
On Curren, on Maya, on Carlos and Mom-John!
To the camp! To the camp! To that little shack!
Paddle harder! Harder! Show me no slack!”

Quick as a flash to the thatched roof they flew
And then through a hole St Nick bounded through
I have to admit I was a little bit scared
For he looked like a god, a heavenly laird
Tightly ripped was his belly and square-hewed was his jaw
While mine was agape with light-headed awe.

He said as he unslung the sack from his shoulder,
“The groms have been good, at least since October.”
(Me too, I’d written Santa for a seven-oh thruster
Round pin double-concave with that Pipeline-ish luster)
He stuffed the groms’ board bags with lots of surf gear
Enough to last and last for many a year.
For the Mrs and me he gave each a SUP board,
Oh well what can you do, such are the ways of a lord.

“I must be off,” he said, “for there is still much to do,
Next is all the good children of Teahupoo.”
But wasn’t it there already Christmas Day?
I decided this was something I’d better not say
And watched with more awe as he leaped to the roof
And landed on Slater who gave a loud whoof!
I heard Santa cry ‘ere he drove out of sight
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”


PS: If you’re looking for a last minute Christmas gift, check out the Drifter Surf Shop — they have copies of Bones of the Dark Moon for sale — a perfect gift for next year’s surf trip

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